Radical Honesty

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Radical Honesty is a technique and self-improvement program developed by Dr. Brad Blanton.^[1] The program asserts that lying is the primary source of modern human stress and that practitioners will become happier by being more honest, even about painful or taboo subjects. Blanton claims this form of honesty can help all human relationships since it "creates an intimacy not possible if you are hiding something for the sake of someone's feelings."^[2]

The Radical Honesty technique includes having practitioners state their feelings bluntly, directly and in ways typically considered impolite.^[3] For example, "I'm disgusted with you for X" where X is a statement of objective observation about the person towards whom the comment is being directed. People who practice Radical Honesty employ a collection of techniques to shift them out of acceptable norms of "white lying" for the purpose of having a more truthful relationship with themselves and others.

The material employed to communicate and teach Radical Honesty through books and workshops is drawn from an eclectic collection of sources includingSufism, clinical psychology, Gestalt therapy and the comic spiritual belief (developed by Blanton) called Futilitarianism, which claims that it is futile to have any belief whatsoever.

http://www.radicalhonesty.com

Radical Honesty is direct communication that leads to intimacy in relationships. When people stop pretending, they can powerfully create their future together.

Energy that was wasted maintaining a performance for the sake of other people is suddenly available forreal creativity.

This works for couples, families, communities and nations. At the Center for Radical Honesty, we are building communities of intimate friends who are creating a revolution in consciousness through direct, open and honest conversation.

Haven’t read Brad’s best selling book yet? Why not??

This new edition includes Brad’s accumulated observations since 1994

of those people whose lives have been transformed

by getting out of the self-made jails of their minds into the truth they have always known.

Available at bookstores everywhere, online and in-store. 

 Ebook and audio book available here.

---

Ready to get honest in your life?

Do you need some skilled help so you don’t totally destroy everything and instead get help with leading a much happier, less stressful life?

You can work with Brad Blanton or a Certified Radical Honesty Trainer near you to assist you to transform your life by telling the truth.

More info here.

Radical Honesty on Facebook

8 Points on Relationship Anarchy

8 Points on Relationship Anarchy 
By Andie Nordgren (translation by Leo Nordwall and Elli Åhlvik)

You can love a lot of people - each relationship is unique

Relationship Anarchy (RA) questions the idea that love is a special, limited feeling which is real only when kept between two people at any given moment. It is possible to love more than one person - your relationship to one doesn't diminish your relationships to the others. Don't value and compare – appreciate each other! No one needs to be highlighted as a partner to make a relationship "real". Every relationship stands on it's own, a meeting between independent equals.

Love and Respect is to have no demands

Refraining from demands as a basis of a relationship is to show respect towards other peoples independency and capability of making decisions on their own. You having feelings for others or a history together doesn't give you the right to set rules or make demands. Try instead to explore how you can develop a relationship without disregarding each others essential values and opinions. Rather than compromising in every situation, make it possible to make different choices without letting that cause a crisis in the relationship. Demandlessness is the only way to be completely sure that everyone in a relationship is there of their own free will. It's not “real love” to adjust to each other according to an existing template.

Give yourself a solid point of view

How do you want others to treat you? And I mean everyone. What are your premises and how do you define your boundaries? What kind of people do you want to have around and how do you want your relationships to be? Find such a core point of view and work with all your relationships according to it. Don't make any exception to the rules or 'special cases' for different people to prove that you really care for someone specific.

Remember the heterosexual norm but don't be afraid

Remember that there is an incredibly powerful set of normative beliefs telling you how life and real love should be. People will wonder and question your relationships. Talk with loved ones to find escapes and tricks to avoid norms and rules that cause problems. But remember to create positive alternatives and fight for something, not just against the norm. Don't allow your relationships to be driven by fear of societal norms.

Spontaneity instead of duty

To be able to be spontaneous – to act without the fear of being punished and without obligations – is what makes radical relationships come to life. Spontaneity is above all else the opposite to duty. You would want a relationship where you spend time with each other just because you want to, not out of a sense of duty. Spontaneity is not about never planning ahead or thinking before acting, it's about building relationships without duties and demands. Organize your relationships in a way so that they enable spontaneousness!

Fake it 'til you make it

Sometimes it might sound like you have to be some kind of übermensch to "stand life" as a relationship anarchist. It's not true. Try using the trick “fake it 'til you make it”, which means that you imagine how you would have done in various difficult situations if you were as strong and cool as you'd like. Make these thoughts simple guidelines you use in situations where you feel too weak. Talk to other people about how they handle things and never blame yourself!

Trust is better than being suspicious

Assume that everyone near you wants you to be happy. The common idea that egoism is the sole power driving human behaviour is bullshit. You and others around you want to acknowledge and communicate with each other but sometimes there is so much to be dealt with in life that you don't have the energy to take care of anyone but yourself. The better the relationships and environments you can create for yourself and others, the more time and energy you can spend on others and acknowledge one another. Give people lots of opportunities to discuss with, explain, care for you and take responsibility for the relationship but remember to take care of yourself. Remember your personal boundaries.

Change through communication

Whenever people do something together there is a norm on how to act and what to do – a norm on how a the situation should turn out. If you and people around you won't talk about the whats, hows and whys, everything will turn out as the norm dictates. Communication, common action and a will to change is the only way to break free from the norms. Radical relationships must have open discussions as their main component, not as a state of emergency. Remember that trust is your most important tool. We are so used to people never quite saying what they actually mean, that we have to search for and try to interpret what they're really after. These assumptions are always based on societal norms or your previous experiences, which isn't necessarily true in your relationship. Talk to each other!

Andie Nordgren is a genderqueer relationship hacker and a key voice behind the Relationship Anarchy movement, which originated in Sweden but is now gaining international interest. Please see Andie's Log for more information.

Relationship Anarchy

Relationship Anarchy – Multiple Relationships with Consent

When in a relationship, it is the love between the two that binds them. But, why does it have to be only two in a relationship, why not three if not more? 

This question is what gives rise to the term relationship anarchy. The neologism, relationship anarchy or relational anarchy, also shortly referred to as RA, questions the very idea of real love which is limited to two people in a relationship at one point of time. In fact, RA suggests that true love can be possible with more than one person at a time. Seems like Keira Knightley is only exploring the realm of relationship anarchy then!

The Ideal Relation

If my statement doesn’t seem far fetched, an ideal relationship, or the love that blossoms between two people, runs on a certain set of rules and regulations-

• be loyal to the person with who you are into a relation with at the moment
• you are not supposed to love or enter into into a relation if you are already seeing someone else or are already married
• compromising in a relationship is inevitable, it is the price we pay for being together

The above set of rules and regulations are what define a monogamous relationship, the ideal relationship that is deemed fit by the society. Break these rules, and you are a sinner. Loyalty, faith, possessiveness, trust and to certain extent, even obsession are what define true love, and it is possible if we adhere to the above mentioned societal rules about an ideal relationship.

Open Relationship

Humans need constant change, in everything, so why not the way in which we maintain a relationship. May be this kind of thinking is what led to polyamory, or more simply known as an open relationship.

Polyamory or an open relationship is defined as being in intimate relationships with multiple partners at the same time. So, is it not sedition? I actually missed a crucial part in the definition, which is ‘consent‘. Everyone involved in the relationship would have to express their consent about having multiple partners. If approved, it’s no sedition.

Relationship anarchy also follows the same lines, with subtle differences though.

Relationship Anarchy

True love does not happen just once at one time and with one person – this is take of relationship anarchs. They believe that being in love with multiple persons at the same time is possible. For anarchs, love has no barricades and no rules, and the intimate feeling can be shared with more than one person at a time.

Not necessarily do the relationships need to be physical but, one can share the same attachment and emotions with another.

Polyamory v Relationship Anarchy
As mentioned above, both the terms are more or less the same but, RA is different. How is it different?

In polyamory, you are in multiple relationships with consent but, the relationships are categorized into outside marriage, friendship, physical relationships and so on.

In RA, there is no such categorization. No partner is primary nor secondary. So, multiple affairs, friendships, sexual relationships etc can all be had at the same time.

Basically, there are no commitments in RA.

Principles of RA

Unlike the societal rules of an ideal relationship, relationship anarchy is based on a few principles-

• loving more than one person without categorizing them is possible
• love has to be selfless and should not set boundaries in each others paths
• no need to compromise for the individuals you love, only learn to respect their views
• do not do anything in the relationships because you have to but, do it because you want to
• learn to fight the norms of monogamy

Just like any other relationship out there, be it heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual or lesbian, relationship anarchy also exists. At least one thing with RA is that no one feels cheated as there is the most important consent and openness about the relationships from all the partners involved.

Relationship Anarchy On Facebook 

Google <are humans monogamous>

http://tinyurl.com/are-humans-monogamous